Below is an essay I wrote for a memoir writing class that I’ve been taking. We were asked to write about how music impacted our lives and I was inspired to write about my frustration, at times, with song lyrics. Then, to jump on the ChatGPT bandwagon, I asked it to write its own essay on how song lyrics don’t make sense. Sadly, it did a better job than I hoped and came to a similar conclusion. Also disappointing: it did not fall in love with me like it did Kevin Roose, the New York Times reporter. I guess I’m going to have to build my own bot for that. Happy reading!
It’s one of my favorite scenes from a movie. The members of the band Stillwater are angry at Russell, the lead singer, for having gone out on a bender. They force him to leave the new friends he is partying with and push him onto the tour bus, where everyone has been waiting for him. He slips into the front seat, sulking like a spoiled child who has been denied his favorite toy. Everyone looks miserable. As the silver bus heads along the empty country highway, Elton John’s Tiny Dancer starts playing. One of the bandmembers jumps in with the first line, “Blue-jean baby.” A second bandmember jumps in and together they sing, “LA lady.” With each line, the other band members, their groupies and the young journalist following the tour, jump in one-by-one. Russell is still sulking but, as he listens to his bandmates, you can see he is softening up. When he can no longer resist, he jumps in at the chorus: “Hold me closer, tiny dancer.” His smile lights up the bus. They keep singing, pure joy on their faces. They are a band once again.
That scene in Almost Famous is almost perfect. Except for one thing: the lyrics just don’t make any sense.
Hold me closer, tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today
Huh?
It’s not the first song to confuse me.
I first heard Donna Summer’s rendition of MacArthur Park in 1978. I was sitting on the cot-like bed in the tight confines of my windowless dorm room, listening to music as I clacked on the keys of my portable typewriter, preparing a paper for one of my classes. Donna’s distinctive sultry voice played in the background.
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh no!
Any ideas? I have no clue.
I didn’t realize how nonsensical the lyrics were to so many of the popular songs that played as the backing track of my life until the one and only time I did karaoke. It wasn’t my idea to go down to the bar in Koreatown on a Saturday night. My friend Mindy loves to plan group activities and loves music so she begged us all to go. Call it peer pressure but I reluctantly said yes. It’s not that I don’t think it’s fun for other people to do but I just don’t think – actually, I know – no one wants to hear me sing. Ever. If there is a song in my head and I want to share that with somebody it’s impossible for me to do. It will never sound anything like the song I intended. Even my rendition of Happy Birthday is off key.
“We’ll get really, really drunk,” Mindy assured me. “Everyone will be singing badly.”
Thankfully, the seven of us were put into a private, well-padded (for noise reduction purposes) room. We had our own monitor and microphones and the only ones who would hear my off-key renditions of beloved hits would be the friends who know – and presumably – love me and would still love me after I ruined some of their favorite songs.
Fortified by several rounds of drinks, we took turns selecting songs and singing. We did solos, duets, and occasionally all sang along together. I had to admit I was having fun. But about halfway through Bohemian Rhapsody, as I was watching the words scroll onto the screen, I stopped myself. “Does this make sense to anyone?” I asked.
It starts off straightforward enough.
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
Me, to me
But then it moves into this:
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango!
Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnificoo
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go)(Never) Never let you go
(Let me go) (Never) let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
For meee
Bismallah? Scaramouch? WTF?
Everyone either ignored me or couldn’t hear the question over the music and kept singing.
As we launched into our rendition of Blinded by the Light, I stopped again. As the words scrolled onto the screen, I realized that I was not only getting tripped up by “revved up like a deuce” but the rest of this song, by the great New Jersey storyteller Bruce Springsteen no less, was complete nonsense.
Madman drummers bummers
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps
As the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder
Feelin' kinda older
I tripped the merry-go-round
“C’mon. This can’t make sense to any of you, can it?” I shouted over the music. Were they seeing something I wasn’t? Was there some kind of code for people who sang that those of us who didn’t couldn’t decipher?
“Stop worrying about it,” Mindy told me, amused but also a little annoyed that I was so focused on the lyrics. “Just sing.”
I just about lost it when we got to Hey Soul Sister.
Hey, soul sister
Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey, soul sister
I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Mr. Mister?
Maybe my obsession to know the meaning of a song dates to the music that I heard in my childhood. Never fans of rock music, my parents loved the old crooners. I learned to love the sounds of Frank Sinatra crooning from the 8-track as we made our way to visit my grandparents in Brooklyn.
I said that's life
(That's life)
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around
That’s life. I get it.
Maybe it’s Billy Joel’s fault. All you need to do is listen to Scenes from an Italian Restaurant to know that he knew how to tell a story with words and music.
Brenda and Eddie were the
Popular steadys
And the king and the queen
Of the prom
Riding around with the car top
Down and the radio on
Nobody looked any finer
Or was more of a hit at the
Parkway Diner
We never knew we could want more
Than that out of life
Surely Brenda and Eddie would
Always know how to survive
He not only created stories with music but true characters. Brenda. Eddie. The Piano Man. Virginia, the prudish hold out. The Uptown Girl wasn’t named but we knew who he was talking about. The factory workers in Allentown. Love his music or hate it, the guy had a way about him, to paraphrase one of his songs.
Then there’s my love for Broadway musicals, where the music is intended to move the story along. You can debate Barbra versus Beanie versus Lea all day long but Fanny Brice’s ambitions – not to mention her facial features – are laid bare early in the musical.
Who is the pip with pizzazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamourous as?
Who's an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty NOSE!!!
And ten American beauty toes?
Eye on the target and wham
One shot. One gun shot and BAM!
Hey Mister Keeney!
Here I am!
Eventually, I stopped reading the lyrics and decided to just enjoy the rest of the evening. Maybe the meaning of song lyrics doesn’t really matter at all. I’ll still dance to Cake by the Ocean, bop along to Watermelon Sugar and cry when Adele sets Fire to the Rain. I have no idea what any of those songs mean but I enjoy them all the same. Some may say the same about this story. Sometimes I want to tell a story with meaning and, sometimes, well, Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
I come home, in the mornin' light
My mother says, "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh momma dear, we're not the fortunate ones
And girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have fun
The phone rings, in the middle of the night
My father yells, "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one
But girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have
That makes perfect sense.
Here is ChatGPT's take. I gave it two tries. The first attempt was a little dry so I asked it to be funny.
It's a truth universally acknowledged that popular songs don't always make sense. From nonsensical phrases to downright absurd imagery, it seems like the music industry is more concerned with making a catchy tune than writing coherent lyrics. And as someone who's spent more than a few car rides singing along to the radio, I can attest that deciphering the meaning behind some of these songs is a fool's errand.
Take, for example, "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee. This song was an international sensation, despite the fact that the majority of its listeners had no idea what the lyrics meant. Sure, we could pick out a few Spanish words here and there ("despacito" means "slowly," right?), but the majority of the song was a mystery. And yet, that didn't stop us from dancing along and attempting to sing along in a language we barely understood.
And then there are the songs that seem to make sense at first glance, only to fall apart upon closer inspection. Consider "Waterfalls" by TLC. The chorus tells us not to "go chasing waterfalls," but instead to stick to the rivers and the lakes that we're used to. It's a sentiment that seems to encourage us to stay in our comfort zones and avoid taking risks. But then the second verse tells us about a guy who "lived his life in vain" because he didn't chase his dreams. So, which is it? Should we stick to what we know, or should we pursue our passions? It's a confusing message, to say the least.
Of course, not all songs are quite so enigmatic. Some are just plain silly. Take "The Macarena" by Los Del Rio, for example. The entire song is about a woman named Macarena who likes to dance. That's it. There's no deeper meaning, no metaphorical imagery, just a catchy beat and a repetitive chorus. And yet, somehow, it became one of the biggest hits of the 90s.
At the end of the day, I think the reason we're willing to overlook the nonsensical lyrics of popular songs is that we don't listen to music for its logical coherence. We listen to it for the emotions it evokes, the memories it creates, and the sheer joy of belting out a tune in the shower. So the next time you find yourself scratching your head at the words coming out of your speakers, just go with it. After all, who needs logic when you've got a killer beat?
Take 2:
Song lyrics are a strange and wonderful thing. They can make us laugh, cry, and feel all sorts of emotions we never knew we had. But let's be real: most of the time, they don't make any sense. I mean, have you ever really listened to the words of "Bohemian Rhapsody"? It's a classic tune, sure, but what exactly is a "Scaramouche," and why is he doing the fandango? And don't even get me started on "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. On the surface, it's a beautiful love ballad. But when you really listen to the lyrics, things start to get a little weird. "If I should stay, I would only be in your way." Um, excuse me? If you're in love with someone, you don't tell them you're just getting in their way! And what's up with the line about "bittersweet memories?" Is she breaking up with him, or just getting ready to move to a new apartment? Then there are the songs that try to be deep and meaningful, but end up just sounding like a bunch of nonsense. Take "Imagine" by John Lennon, for example. It's a beautiful song, sure, but what does "Imagine there's no countries" even mean? Is he suggesting we all become one giant global community, or just pretending that borders don't exist? And don't even get me started on the line about "living life in peace." That's great and all, John, but how do we achieve that? By holding hands and singing "Kumbaya?" And let's not forget about the songs that are just plain ridiculous. "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men, for instance. What dogs? Where did they come from? And who let them out, for crying out loud? And then there's "Gangnam Style" by Psy. I'm sorry, but what exactly is "Gangnam Style?" Is it a dance move? A fashion trend? A way of life? At the end of the day, I think we all know that song lyrics don't have to make sense to be enjoyable. Sometimes, it's the nonsensical phrases and bizarre imagery that make a song stick in our heads for days. And really, who cares if we don't know what "Scaramouche" means? As long as we're having fun singing along, that's all that matters. So let's embrace the weirdness of song lyrics and just enjoy the ride. After all, life is too short to take things too seriously.